Fulfillment

I've been real busy the past month. From the day I went to Taiwan to today, I've been busy non-stop. Yesterday was my first day in a long while where I had nothing to do and could sit in my room all day~
But I like being busy. It makes my days seem well-spent, instead of just sitting in front of my computer all day.
Of course, it's also very tiring. In Taiwan, I woke up at 9am everyday and left the house (to play, of course, but playing is still tiring) and only went back at 11pm. So yeah, I did complain about being too damn busy.

But then I remembered how I was complaining to my Mom about having to stay in Taiwan for 3 weeks when I initially only wanted 2. I was torn between spending time in Taiwan with my Dad and staying for the Countdown party and in the end, I decided to do both, hence the 3 weeks.

Disclaimer: I am a Christian, but I'm not very religious. Yes, I believe in one true God, our Father in heaven, but I don't believe in bringing God into every sentence I say. It's freaky. And yes, I believe in miracles and I do attribute the miraculous 'coincidences' in my life to His planning.

As I was saying, I was complaining about having nothing to do for 3 weeks, because my 8 cousins all had started work or were busy preparing for exams that none of them were really home nor had the time to play with me. Miraculously, they were extremely free the time I was there. Everyday. they brought me out to shop and dine and play until I gained at least 5kg (curses). I was scheduled to reach Sg on the night of the 6th.

Anyway, late November to early December last year, when I was wondering if I should start searching for jobs, my Dad told me about SERVE program that is organised by the Diocesan Youth Board, I was told it was a hospital thing, where we learn the skills to take care of the elderly, the sick, the disabled etc, that there was to be a mission trip at the end, and that we were given about $500 allowance (for transport and food expenses and such) per month. I was hesitant at first because I HATE camps, and there was supposed to be a 3D2N camp in Sentosa, not to mention I had another job waiting. I don't like interacting with people, more specifically the popular, overly-hyped kind. I dunno, I can't carry a conversation with such people, and the conversations we do have are all quite shallow... I just don't understand those people. I'm a self-confessed introvert, and happy with it. In the end, I decided to sign up because I thought, hey, this would be a much better use of my time than serving snobby people at some restaurant. So I just handed in my application and left Sg without knowing when it starts, was I in or not, who else is in...
The funny thing is, SERVE orientation starts 7th Jan, the very next day, and camp is from 8-10th Jan. 11th was my rest day (aka camp in front of computer day), and today is the 12th!

I couldn't have planned my schedule better if I did it on purpose. Yeah, I take this as a sign from God that I'm meant to be here. And surprise, surprise, the theme for the camp was 'Identity and Destiny', the very thing that I had been mulling over for 2 years and recently got scared thinking about. So I started on my journey of self-discovery.

My abilities are not very clear cut, neither are my interests. That's why I'm so confused. I cook passable food, I made it into JC, drawings are not ugly, singing ok, dancing ok, alright at interacting with elders and children (I only have problem with people my age... Ha.), ok at handling electronics (read the manual if all else fails)... Basically everything(?) ok, passable, but nothing exceptional. I really don't know what I want to do in life. I have a very curious heart but short attention spam, plus I learn fast, so I can't really hold a hobby for long. Compared to other people I've met.. Some are damn good at their studies, others good at drawing, music, baking etc... They have all found their passion. Me, I have no passion. *Sigh*

That's why I'm really hoping that I'll find some answers, if not all, in SERVE program.

PS, yes, I did enjoy the camp. They let us play ClimbMax, ParaJump, and most fun of all, MegaZip! It's like flying in the air at >60km/hour (I went faster than others.. Fat %?)