A little background:
I am an Anglican Christian and my Dad is one of the reverends in the church. Our church is located within the hospital. He is in charge of the hospital sector and he usually goes to the Chinese congregation. So basically, if there are any emergencies, he's the guy that people turn to for help. But yesterday, he was invited to speak at another church and so he didn't attend our church's service. We only had one Pastor in the service yesterday so he was in charge of everything.
So, on to the story.
Yesterday when the Sunday service was ending, this man who had some kind of mental illness had another relapse. It was around the time we were getting ready to give our offerings. This guy has had many relapses, so it didn't really shock anyone.
The difference yesterday was that my Dad was not there. So the other people there, the Pastor, the admin, the band, the people... they all didn't know how to handle it because my Dad wasn't there. Usually Dad would princess-carry the guy to seek medical help and someone else would lead the rest of us to pray for the guy (or anyone else... we invite some of the patients to our service so the risk is always there).
But since my Dad wasn't there... Well two or three people hurriedly carried him onto a wheelchair and pushed him out of the congregation and tried to stabilise him outside.
And what did the Pastor do? NOTHING. Did he lead us in prayer for the guy? No. Did he express his concern for the guy? NO!
I could see that while some of the people were concerned, most of them didn't give a damn. They didn't even look at that guy. The service went on, money was handled, songs were sung, all while the dude may be fighting for his life outside.
I got so pissed. SO FREAKING PISSED. I wanted to scream to the lot of them, "WHAT ARE YOU WORSHIPING?"
What is your faith? Is your faith to be faithful and focus solely on the rituals to God? Do you not care if someone is in need because you are absorbed in your ritual?
Is the ritual more important or your neighbour more important?
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these."
-Mark 12:30
So, what is your faith? You come to church every week, you offer up your 10% dutifully, you read the bible, you pray frequently... But what is your faith? Is there any believe while you go through the rituals? Is there kindness, love, hope, joy, peace...?
Honestly, it made me very, very disappointed with my church. My Dad and I yelled at each other over this because he kept trying to defend the church saying they were too reliant on him and so they didn't know what to do, that it's only natural for this kind of indifference because the guy has had multiple relapses. And he kept emphasising that I am overly judgement, and he just was damned stubborn and wouldn't even try to consider what I was trying to tell him, this huge problem that I was trying to bring to light so that he, having a position of power, could do something about it.
It may be true. I am quick to judge, but most of the time I am right. Has he ever considered that maybe I'm just more sensitive to emotions and actions of others? That perhaps I judge quickly because I observe enough to judge in that short period of time?
We all judge others. As beings with emotions this is inevitable. Maybe I'm just more sensitive and form my judgements quicker. Has he ever thought of that? Has he realised that by repeatedly pointing out my judgemental issues, he himself has already condemned me?
It hurt. I felt sad, disappointed, oppressed, misunderstood..... and I cried. For 10 minutes I locked myself in my room, turned off all lights, stood by the window and cried.
Did he even think to apologise? Heck, no. In my Dad's mind, he is perfect. Even if he made a mistake, it's because someone else lead him to do it so essentially it's not his fault.
This is a trait that my brother has inherited as well and it's tearing my family apart. Me, I stopped caring about my brother a long time ago to be frank. He is not, and never will be, my responsibility. I tried -we tried- but to no avail.
Wow this is long. Well, happy belated Valentines' my readers (I know I have a couple from different countries, which is so cool).
MWUAHHH. <3 p="">
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