Weird Tastes

I'm in Taiwan now~ Temperature ranging from 'cinema cool' to school examination hall 'dammit I can't feel my fingers' cold. 

My friend John (female) was telling me about how she's quickly losing interest in Asian men, because let's face it, there are more good looking Eurasian guys than there are good looking Asian guys... (We were watching some American film when she came to sleep over~) 

I'm the type that gets very easily influenced by emotions and my 'sixth sense' (somewhat). Honestly all faces look the same to me. Maybe I lack some nerve ending to distinguish good looks? My friends would see some cute guy and when they point it out to me, I'll be like 'eh, I guess so'. 

When I walk along the road I don't rate people's faces. I don't even register how the other person looks. I think I mostly judge people by their body language and smell. My mom said that I recognised people by smell when I was a baby and will cry if I didn't like the person's smell (smoke, alcohol etc). The more I like the person, the prettier (I don't have close guy friends so I can't say for guys) they seem to me. Hmmm... 

Anyway, I've recently realised that I cannot take the damn good-looking people seriously, especially the guys. The good looking ones all just seem so... Pretty. Zac efron? Yeah, damn pretty. Look at those eyes. Same with Michelle Phan's boyfriend. They just become so good looking that they lose their manliness. 

Maybe 10 years of having useless junk rammed into my head loosened a few screws?

I really hope it's not just me. xD

Post A's

So my last paper was on 28th Nov. Today is the second day of post-A period and I already have no idea what to do... I still feel obligated to study. *sigh*

The night before my last paper, biology MCQ that is an afternoon paper from 2 pm to 3.15 pm, I dreamt that I woke up at 1.15 pm. I thought I was screwed &#@^*!! It takes about 40 mins to travel to school, not to mention changing, brushing my teeth etc.. Scary nightmare.

Anyway, here is my to-do list:

1. Upgrade my guitar skills

2. Learn Korean before I go to Korea in Feb (YAYYY~~)

3. Read Harry Potter, Percy Jackson series etc..

4. Quit being unemployed

5. Buy shoes (Gahhh, shopping)

6. Buy headphones (that are reasonably priced)

7. Do volunteer work

Tentative goals:

8. Learn piano

9. Learn one more language (French/Italian/Spanish.. Depends on which country I might visit)

It seems like everything that I have planned to do only makes me so much poorer. I'm going ice-skating with my class on Monday, maybe watching a movie afterwards, going to the zoo and night safari on Tuesday, ate sashimi buffet and went karaoke-ing yesterday, gonna travel Singapore someday before my student pass expires etc... 

I just spent my entire day lazing in my bed. How productive.

Ender's Game

So I watched Ender's Game just now and I love it! What am I doing watching a movie in the middle of the most important exam of my life (so far) you ask? Well, I kinda lost my sanity a week ago so... Who cares.

The film, the novel.

This is another alien-human future world and focuses on the struggle of a 10-year-old boy, our tactics genius protagonist Ender. The movie does not do a very good job on explicitly explaining the details of background stories, and only a few characters were really developed. One too many characters like Ender's brother Peter ended up as a touch-and-go character. The first 30 mins was confusing and had a lot of holes... It's a movie that grows on you.
The CGI was awesome though! And maybe it's just me, because I don't like to watch action films on the big screen, but dayum was my heart pounding. Like when they pulled the monitor out of his neck, when the mouse jumped into the giant's eye, or when he was commanding the "stimulation" attacks on the aliens.

To be honest though if I was one of the officers that worked my butt off to be able to enter the Battle School or Command Base, I wouldn't be too thrilled to have to take orders from a 10-year-old kid who only enrolled a few months ago and manged to climb up ranks to become "Commander".

Definitely gonna read the book now haha. My ever-growing list of things to do after A's. xD

MUST go and watch Ender's Game! So much better than Thor 2 where Natalie Portman becomes a useless flower vase.. And Loki "dies" again. He 'dies' in every single movie and comes back again with the exact same aim... *sigh*

Ok bye~ My exam ends 28th November AND I CANNOT WAIT.

So.... My Life Is About To Reboot

The A-Levels are coming. The 5 subjects, 11 papers in 1 month that I'm about to sit through determines the success or failure of my 14-year education. Quite the undervaluation, ain't it. 

I know it sounds melodramatic (I'm gonna look back at this post 10 years later and, hopefully, scoff), but it does feel like what my life adds up to is about to end. My results are....very worrying. I'm at the end of my road because unlike other people who has financial capabilities, I don't. I can't apply for scholarships with my results. I can't go overseas for University. My only option is to enter local U. 

There is a very high chance of me not being able to enter local U. Or, even if I could, it would be some crappy course that I have completely no interest in. 

But after A's... Freedom. 

That's all my friends and I ever talk about this month. We would be walking on the streets, saying, hey, let's go shopping after A's or let's go cafe-hopping after A's or even let's go overseas after A's! 

Instead of working towards the examinations, we are all working towards after the examinations. 

Well, in the event that I really can't enroll in local U, I've already told my mum that I'll take a gap year (debit, of course). Maybe go backpacking, maybe do voluntary work... I'll see where it takes me. 

So here I am, doing the 10-9 sit-in in the library, turning my butt to cold stone, in a room full of my enemies (hahaha) busy attacking one script after another and me... Typing away on my phone. 

I should really get back to studying. 

All the best!! 

Hilarious

From roflzone.com

Gravity (film)

So I went to watch Gravity in the cinemas yesterday~
The thoughts of an audience member.

The film stars Sandra Bullock and George Clooney and one other guy. The three people are all the acting faces of the film, and around 2/3 of the movie only has Sandra Bullock. But fear not! You can stare at the bloody amazing cinematography. Click to go to wiki.

What I loved about the movie was how realistic it portrayed space. Both the beauty and horrors of space were all conveyed so well that I really felt like I was in space, weird as that sounded. I kept joking to my friends that our hearts probably pounded faster than the people next door watching Insidious hahaha. My heart really pounded throughout the movie. I thought that Ryan (Bullock) was gonna die all the time even though I know that it's logically impossible, (spoiler) her being the only human left.

Sadly, I did not watch the movie in 3D but I very highly recommend it because the scenery is so beautifully made.

After the movie, my friends and I couldn't walk properly hahaha because it really felt like we were in space (I know I keep saying this, but it's true!) and gravity was unfamiliar.

-SPOILERS-
There was a scene where Ryan was prepared to die by draining all  of her oxygen in the Chinese escape pod(?) thing, and suddenly Matt (Clooney) showed up at the door and was trying to open the damn door that leads to a vacuum even though Ryan didn't have her helmet on! I thought her head was going to explode!
If you think about it, space is nothing. It's a vacuum and the difference in pressure of our bodies and space will cause space to 'suck' out all of our organs and blood through whichever open we have, like our mouths and eye sockets and pores.... (Haha, ok not true. :p)

The movie is PG13 though, so they didn't show that hahaha.

Fun space facts:

TED Education

Those guys are my GP bibles.

My Weird Dreams

My dreams are really weird. The scenarios are things that 100% cannot happen in real life. Well, at least the dreams that I do remember having are.

Rabbit dream
Recently I dreamt about this white, fluffy little bunny of hell that hated me. The aggressive little white furball would scratch at me and bite me and often, it would clamp its teeth on my right hand so hard that it would dangle from my hand and of course I'd bleed. That's about all I remember about my dream. Not pleasant.

Action dreams
I have this recurring dream that would always start with me shopping for snacks in some forsaken but operating huge shopping mall, and when I brought my basket to the cashier, I'd realise that I was alone. Then I'd panic for a bit and wander around until I bump into this guy around my age, and he'll say that he knows a way out. I'd follow him out a small, worn down grey door that opened to show a post-apocalyptic world that was covered in ashes and ruin. We'd enter a broken corridor and jump over some unhinged metal fences. Then we'd glide down a cable by grabbing hold of one of the fences and reach another corridor at the other end of the grey alley. At the end of that corridor there would be a suspicious door that was beautifully painted red and gold and seemed very expensive. He'd tell me to be careful and stay behind him as we lurked into the grey, worn down building. The red door opened to a luxurious interior shining gold and had numerous corridors and doors much like the red one. It was like we were in a maze, but for some reason, he knew where to go. He stalked down the corridor, stopping before every corner like he was looking out for enemies. I could always see a shadow at the corner that we just vacated. Something was chasing us. Then, he'll open a particular door to a room that was decorated in vintage and had sepia colours. There was a couch in the middle of the room, shelves lined with alarm clocks and napkins and pocket watches. There was a vintage black and white tv beside the couch, on top of an old-looking tv counter. Suddenly, little furry black things would rush in from the door like they found us, and when as they rounded us, their faces suddenly became clear. It was very comical like those crazy seasame street puppet faces but they had maniacal expressions. I realised that we'd shrunk when they carried us under the vintage tv counter and into some other dimension that looked like a drainage system, except instead of water, we were carried along the currents of the black maniacal things.
Then we'd burst through some kind of opening and I'd be looking at my family, normal sized again.

Another dream that I remember is that me and my older male cousin were secret spies, and we were high-ranked. One fine day the HQ flooded and so the agents were swimming inside the building made of glass rather than walking, and the water was clear and it was so much fun.
Flash forward, my cousin and I were at the tomb of a Chinese emperor looking (or guarding) some ancient treasure. I remember staring down at the face of the tomb and that the tomb was decorated red and gold and blue and preserved very well.
the end

Well I had other weird dreams like during an orientation, we took a ride in the water slide in the school where the water was hair conditioner. It felt fun in my dreams. xD

Hi + iOS 7 Review (Slight)

Hello people. Been 'busy' preparing for my prelims which will be over soon... As busy as I ever was hahaha. Basically I just stayed at home and sleep, read manga, watch tv, listen to songs, eat, eat, eat, sleep and repeat. So yeah... Nothing much happened over the month so nothing to post.

I have really very bad memory for some things and unnecessarily good memory for others. Like when I'm studying for my GP exams, I just watch TedEducation videos to build up on my content knowledge. Some information just get stuck in my head while others... No matter how hard I try, I just can't force it in. So I've stopped trying to force things in and just read and watch more to increase the total influx of information haha.

Anyway, I downloaded iOS7 on my iphone 4! So let's discuss the pros and cons.

Cons
1. Slow. Not intolerably slow, but slow nevertheless. Lags for a few milliseconds when you open the multitasking.
2. Unnecessary features such as the album art appearing beside every song and tons of processes such as the control center and the notification center that just eats my battery.
3. The ADHD calender. It won't stop moving and squirming around for me to properly select the date.
4. iPhone 4 does not support blurred control and notification centers nor the 3D background, which honestly was the main reason I updated.
5. The Apple feel is lost. I feel like I'm using a Window's phone, mainly because of the new multitasking interface and the redesign of icons.

Pros
1. More efficient safari that can auto-hide the address bar and allow better tab-scrolling (aka things that google chrome had before ios 7)
2. Reminders and calender events useful now in the notification centre.
3. I LOVE THE COLOURS. (Which sadly doesn't really appear on iPhone 4.)

My lock screen      ~SO PWETTY~

I've never set a passcode for my phone before because it's so annoying to have to type something before you can use your phone, but I love the colours so much that I went and set a pascode! Just for the colours hahahaha. Yeah, I'm unique like that. xD

Basically iOS 7 erases the need for cydia tweaks. Feels like Apple is trying to include all functions of the most popular tweaks and modifications by external apps (like google chrome and cydia) in their already present functions...

My Dad bought an iPhone 5s that I reallyyy wanna play with for a bit but sadly, he's selling it. *sigh*

That evil guy waved it under my nose but I can't touch it. *SIGH*

Math Pick-up Line

We had a lesson on "Marriage" during last week's moral education lesson, and a few teachers were invited up to share about their married life. One of them (a math teacher) commented on her relationship with her husband by saying,

"He is sine squared and I am cosine squared; we come together to become ONE."




The formula:

Amazing pick-up line hahahaha! XD

Just a little tip for those trying to impress math girls out there LOL~

I Got Scammed

So a few days ago.... I was scammed by a bunch of damn durian vendors. They came to my doorstep to sell durians, and me not ever having buy durians before, had no idea the price of durians. So I called my mom and she told me that she bought durians for like $5 per durian and normal vendors sold them at like $8 per kilo ( that's what I heard), so when the vendor offered $7 per kg, I didn't think that it was that expensive. Turns out, two durians were 7+ kg and costed $49!!! My parents could have bought two durians at $10!!

What's worse, the vendors couldn't even be bothered to give me two normal-quality durians. One was dried out but had a lot of fruit; the other was good but only had like 3 pieces of meat. So I was scammed into paying $49 for like total 12 pieces of durian meat.

$49 for 12 freaking pieces

The vendor even had the nerve to ask me to give them water because they were THIRSTY. So me, being the ever kind person, gave them a BOTTLE of water. He even tried to scam me out of my $1 change!!

Of course I felt stupid. Heck, I cried and kept scolding myself for being so damned dumb and gullible. Then 2 hours of grief later, I started to get angry. WHO ARE THEY, that they have the right to cheat a girl's innocence? WHO THE HECK ARE THEY to scam the hard-earned money of an honest man?

Whoever you are, if I ever see you again, I WILL SLAM THE DURIAN SHELLS INTO YOUR FACE.

 

IMAGINE THIS COLLIDING WITH YOUR DAMNED FACES

Luckily my mom and dad are really understanding people (their way of teaching me. It would've been another scenario had it been my brother hahaha...) 'cause they know that I'll beat myself up over this. My Dad practically LAUGHED IN MY FACE and kept saying "my daughter got scammed~" Not sure if I prefer this over some nagging.... Probably yes.

Anyway the next day, my mum drove me to school (weekly occurrence now haha) and we talked a bit.

My mum mentioned the standard three stages of repenting:

1. Guilt 

     You keep blaming yourself and feel really stupid

2. Levelling

     You start to realise that it isn't entirely your fault

3. Anger
     You feel that you are not to blame and put all the blame on the other party


And where you finally end at defines on your character. Most people always end up in stage 3 and always push the blame on everyone else. Those people are the most annoying (like my Dad and bro).

For me, I've learnt to never trust young vendors. Always bargain half-price. Plus I'll remember that bastard's face.

Plus, durians cost roughly $6 per durian (for normal quality ones) and those that really cost $20 per durian are the high-quality ones.
Good durians have very, very strong smell. Not-so-good ones do not emanate durain smell.

I've learnt how to buy durians at least.

Hit My Head... Again

Hello~ Very busy with my studies now since there are... Around 85 days to A-Levels. So scary. >_<

Anyway, now that NAFTA is over (National Physical Fitness Assessment), we get to play games. We have two PE periods every week and mine is on Monday and Thursday, so we get to choose electives for each of the days. I'm in squash on Mondays and gymnastics on Thursdays.

Well last week during gym, the teacher made us try forming different structures like pyramids... Gymnastic-y stuff. I grouped with Lizzy and Priya. Priya is like 170cm. Lizzy is 165+ cm. I am 155 cm tall (fun size!).
Like usual, the lightest one is the one as the tip of the pyramid, which is me unfortunately. I have to step on their thighs and hoist myself up.

Needless to say, I fell backwards and landed on my head. My whole body fell unto the mats... Except my head. Such is my luck (like seriously??). The universe is set on changing the shape of my head before I graduate JC. I still have the bump from last year's orientation. Still have that bald spot too. Now my hair is super thin. T_T

Lizzy and Priya felt very guilty and they dubbed me the most fragile person in the world hahaha. They really freak out every time I stumble or something and wouldn't approach me during gym. XD
Quite fun hahaha (imma sadist).

Of course it's not their fault. It's gym. Of course people will fall. I was just that unlucky to hit my head on the floor. I mildly sprained my neck and the tendons and muscles in my neck felt really sore for 3 days straight and I couldn't turn my head much. Lucky for me, my Dad is a trained medical personnel (he's that pastor who will pray for all the injured soldiers during war, so he knows more-than-basic medical treatment) and he massaged my neck every night for 3 days until the soreness went away~

Both my parents fussed over me and its was sooooo awesome. xD
I'm not that noble to not take advantage of my injury hahaha.

What I do have complaints about is the way the PE teacher reacted. I hit my head and instead of letting me go get ice for my head, he instead started talking to the class about how important it is to be careful when doing gymnastics using me as an example, and after that he forced me to climb up again. I kept saying that I needed to ice my head, and it was obvious from Lizzy and Priya's face that they were worried but did he take heed? Nooooo. And then because he didn't want me to fall backwards again, he kept pushing me forwards and I couldn't balance myself and this time I jumped off.

Dear people out there, a head injury is no scratch on the knee. It has to be treated immediately or things will get worse exponentially (infections!!!). The first time I hit my head, I had to wait an hour before they let me clean my wound. I had tiny gravel fragments sticking to my open wounds for AN HOUR at least! What if I got serious infections? Huh??

So in the future.... Treat the wound first. Don't take any risks.

Anyway, my song of the (last) week haha:

Goodbye and Happy National Day! (9/8)

.... in case I don't post again in time.

Mid Years are OVER

I'm really so tired even though I didn't even put 30% of my energy into studying. It seems that as time goes by, the less I study but the more tired I feel. :/
There's this constant burden above my head screaming "A LEVELS" that is stressing me out and I can't concentrate. I swear I'll sit at my desk for 6 straight hours but I've only read like 2 pages. @_@

So frustrating. I used to be able to sit at my desk for 10 hours straight and remember most of what I've read... That's how I managed to get past O-Levels and pre-JC exams hahaha. -_-
I MISS THOSE DAYS.

All of my friends are experiencing the same thing. We stare at the exam paper and we know that we should know how to do this because we've done it before but we just can't think! The paper should've been manageable but we failed it like nobody's business.

I have never passed a Chemistry exam in JC and it's July in year 2 and I am so screwed.

The answer to all our problems is very simple actually: DE-STRESS
But it's surprisingly hard to achieve because the school, our family, even church members keep drilling into us that, oh, A-levels is this year, and oh, we have work hard to get into a university.
Oh really, I didn't know that.
It's really annoying. We are trying. Stop disallowing us to forget.

This year March, my family went overseas leaving me alone at home for 2 weeks or so. The best time of my life. I felt so relaxed even though I had to do all of my chores. I could stay in the shower for 2 hours without anyone complaining. I could sing at the top of my lungs and not feel judged. I could eat junk food and watch movies in the middle of the night and nobody will make snark remarks.
But above all, I felt the responsibility to take care of myself and the house.
I kept really good care of the house: empty basin, clean floors, no ants, moderately filled fridge and not over-stuffed. I slept at 10 and woke up at 8 every single day. I made sure I ate my meals and veggie and fruits. I invited my friends over and had a blast.
I was damn healthy!

Even though I spent as much time studying for my March Block Tests as I did for J1 Mid-years (which is like 6 hours the night before), there was a HUGE improvement in my results because my mind was clear. Let's compare my MBT with promos (I spent 1 week plus studying but no results)...

Promos
Chemistry -S (below average)
Maths -U (way below average)
GP -D (above average but worse than my J1 MYE)
Biology -C (average)
Econs -U (below average)

Total 3 failed 2 passes

MBT
Chemistry -U (but average)
Maths -D (I couldn't believe it myself. Above average.)
GP -E (no excuses because I stopped reading. Average.)
Biology -D (above average)
Econs -D (OMG A D!!)

Total 1 failed 4 passes


THAT'S A HUGE IMPROVEMENT EVEN THOUGH I STUDIED OVERNIGHT

Soooooo.... KICK YOUR FAMILY OUT OF THE HOUSE.
Hahahaha. Or you could always just ask them to bring you overseas for like 3 days to relax. Somewhere where you will completely forget about the impending A-Levels and won't even think about it. Like Malaysia, a car's drive away.
Keep a lookout for hotel promotions (they have those quite frequently). Don't go on shopping sprees and you should be able to afford short holidays. :)


P.S. I am trying to kick my family to Taiwan this October mwahahahaha....

Draw Something 2

It's fun.
Warning: This post sounds like an advertisement (not intentional)

With talent, you get to draw awesome things like these:

By using tools like these:

(My personal fave.... It allows easy layering haha)

And you get to watch the masters draw

And another one:

My drawings... Of course I'm not half as good as the people above. xD

*All the pictures are screenshots from my phone in the app DrawSomething2 by Zynga*

Gospel

*Applause*

My YouTube

Just sharing some channels that I think are awesome~
In no particular order...


MUSIC

1. Alex G

2. Tyler Ward

3. Megan Lee

4. Conor Maynard

SCIENCE-Y

1. SciShow

2. Minute Physics

3. Vsauce

COMEDY

1. Your Grammar Sucks

2. Honest Trailers

3. Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse (don't judge)

4. React series (TheFineBros)

OTHERS

1. SourceFed (News)

2. theslowmoguys

3. BuzzFeed

Bonus: After Ever After (WHICH IS GENIUS!)

....and will spoil all of your disney dreams *whoops~*

Physical Self-Esteem

My mother is very, very biased towards boys in general. Though it's not like she neglects me or marginalises me, it is painfully evident that she is partial towards my brother.

Today is my brother's 14th birthday and for some illogical reason, my dad insisted on celebrating at midnight. I was rushing a GP essay last night and had only gotten 3 hours of sleep, so my dark eye circles are absolutely hideous. I refused to be in any photos and so I took on the role of the photographer instead. 

Afterwards when my mom was looking through all the photos that I took with her phone, she kept saying how handsome my brother will surely grow to be a ladykiller etc etc. She said, quote, "the poor ladies!"

I really don't mind her gushing about my brother but the thing is... She won't even say that I'm pretty. All she says is "you're so cute!" when I make some kind of stupid mistakes. Every time someone in church tells her that they think I'm pretty, she'll immediately report to me when she reaches home and at the end of her take there's always something along the lines of "they're over exaggerating" or "they are trying too hard to suck up". Not direct words, but the meaning is there. 

Well she is the pastor's wife so it is true that there will always be butt-kissers that will try to suck up to her, and often when they run out of compliments they'll start complimenting her children, which in this case is me. 

I take after my mother in both looks and character department. However I am much more vocal than my mother and will not take shit from people that I actually care about and want to maintain a relationship with. (If you try to take advantage of me and I don't do anything, it means that I don't think you're worth the effort to try and correct your values... And yes, I do know when I am being taking advantage of or belittled.)

She's always lumping me and her together, and she ain't got a high self-esteem. Result? Constant comments like

"We are not even pretty"

"We are not attractive"

All the while she just kept gushing about how devastatingly handsome my brother is going to turn out to be. 

Moreover my Dad seems to think that it's funny to tease me about my assumed physical unfitness (I did pass my NATFA ok). And he keeps teasing me about my weight. I am 155cm tall, weigh 45kg which is not, in any instance, FAT. But he seems to think otherwise because every single time he sees me eating something (oh, maybe it's my breakfast. I didn't know I can't eat breakfast. Oh, am I eating too much for lunch??? Dinner?? Dessert is the absolute fat sin???), he will starting calling me FAT. 

I really think that he started teasing me just for a little fun but as time goes by, he's started to believe that I am indeed fat. 

And you know what? Faced with all these criticisms coming from my family who was supposed to be my emotional support, I do think that I am FAT, SHORT, and UGLY. 

Imagine what it would do to a person born with little self-esteem if they even managed to change my opinion about myself. I am a self-righteous, stubborn and easily big-headed girl who was born with a healthy dose of self-esteem. Now look what happened. 

Oh don't worry. I'm not the type to go on deathly diets or become anorexic or anything because I do believe that there are genuine souls out there who can accept me for all that I am. My physical body isn't suffering due to harsh words; my confidence is. 

Just food for thought on how your words can and will affect he people around you. A little compliment once in a while goes a long way, trust me. 

Good night! :)

Angel

Such a beautiful song.

She originally wrote this song explaining her drug addiction. "Angel" meant drugs.

Lyrics:

Spend all your time waiting

For that second chance

For a break that would make it okay

There's always some reason

To feel not good enough

And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction

Oh a beautiful release

Memory seeps from my veins

Let me be empty

Oh and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You're in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight life

And everywhere you turn

There's vultures and thieves at your back

The storm keeps on twisting

You keep on building the lies

That you make up for all that you lack

It don't make no difference

Escaping one last time

It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh

This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of the angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckageof your silent reverie

You're in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here

You're in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here

Sung by Jackie Evancho:

Kissing is Gross

Obviously, I'm not a kisser. Or a hugger. Stopped kissing my parents at the age of... 7? Maybe?

I've recently starting hugging again. If my friends are sad I'll ask if they need a hug (but I'm still not that open to just hug them). I do hug my grandma. I'm not a very intimate person.

The point is, I've a 5-year-old cousin that got attached to me, and she's quite aggressive. Today she asked to sit on my lap and I said ok (I was quite stunned by her request to be honest). Then while she was showing me how to play dress-up games, our faces got really close together and she planted one on my cheeks... Which I, admittedly, felt kinda awkward about. She's very affectionate. She kept cuddling and touching my hand and even said "I love you" where I smiled and patted her head but like I said, I feel awkward about these kind of things. Can't remember the last time I told anyone "I love you" straight to their faces.

Two weeks ago my grandme planted one on me as well. And mannnn was that weird.

Obviously I've never had a boyfriend. (Yes, I am 18.)

Got kissed twice in two weeks. Quite scared to find out who'll kiss me next (most likely my mom). *shudder*

Toilet Roll Art

So cool... *_*

Indecisiveness

One thing that started bothering me a lot recently is indecisiveness.
I don't how it happened, or why, but it seems that repeatedly asking stupid questions to everyone has become a conversation starter in my class.

For example, a daily occurrence during our recess period

A: Aaahh, I'm really hungry! Should I eat a meal now or later during lunch?
Me: Eat later. We have 4 periods after lunch.
A: But I'm reallyyy hungryy!!!
Me: Then eat now.
A: But if I eat now, I'll be too full to eat later, and I cannot survive 4 periods!
Me: Then eat both times.
A: No! I'll get fat!
Me: Then buy some snacks now and eat later.
A: But I'm hungryyyyy.
*I shut up and ignore her*

IT IS @#$%^& ANNOYING. At first I used to entertain such people, but now every single damned time someone tries to start such conversations with me I just escape and ignore them.

The worst part, they happen ALL THE DAMNED TIME.

For example,
"Should I buy these shoes?"
"Should I do my homework?"
"Should I eat rice or noodles?"
"Should I go out with them after school?"

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻    RAWRRRRRRRRRR

Stop it, ok. Just stop it.

Awesome Day

Easily one of my best days of my JC life :)

1. My teacher treated my class to PIZZA to celebrate our PW results!

2. Got DISTINCTION for guitar SYF yeahhh!!!!

3. All of this happened on MY BIRTHDAY (today!)

Super happy today.... Spent the entire yesterday at guitar SYF so now I have to hurry and catch up on my homework. ): No chance of sleeping tonight.

BTW! I'm officially old enough (18) to donate my blood (which I'm doing tmr in school) WITHOUT my parent's consent! BADASS YEAHHH. Hahaha. XD

Goat time! :p

Chemistry...!!!!

Well then chemistry, we have very different definitions of "simple".

This is MCQ qns 2 from my CA.... Which I answered incorrectly. ):

Beatbox

This guy is awesome!!

Tips I Wish I Knew Earlier

1. Rubbing boiled egg on a bruise really works
      - if you crack the egg and see little black spots on the egg white then you're doing it right (don't eat the egg)

2. Using too much soap will cause hair fall
     - too much chemicals

3. Tea leaves can absorb odor
    - convenient and safe; can use to cleanse bottles

4. Always sleep from 11pm to 4 am
   - that's the most crucial and most effective time period for sleep


*These are all based on personal experience so they're very reliable! :)
That's all I can think of right now... Will update if I think of any more.

Nice VS Good

I know, I know, I've talked a lot about "nice" people lately, but here's another one! :)
I can't help it. I keep thinking and thinking about how some people are "nice" while others aren't, and it kinda pisses me off, how shallow human beings actually are.

You know Ali, the prime example of a manipulative "nice" person? Well, I do think that she is nice, but I don't think that she is a good person. Really good people won't abandon their friends, won't manipulate other people into doing their work, won't put on a mask.

For me, I like to think that while I'm not a nice person, I'm a good person. That's my aim anyway. Sure, I can be all sweet and nice if I wanted too (I have a baby face which is very useful when handling adults :P ), I don't actually see the point in making others like you for someone you are not. I really rather find just one friend that truly cares about me, rather than many friends who only like what I decide to show to them.
So I'm realizing that the older I got, the less sociable I'm becoming, because I don't want to put on a "nice" mask no more. I show exactly what I'm made of from the very beginning, so only few people actually like me from the start. Take for example my school. Last year I didn't really have a lot of friends, and the only few that I did have were disloyal ones. So I was sad and lonely and all (humans are very socially needy creatures), but I've realised that this year, more people have started to initiate interaction with me.

So I guess that's a bad side of not having the 'nice' mask - others need some warm-up time.

My mother did tell me once that there are generally three types of people:
One, extroverts that people like immediately,
Two, introverts that people like more and more gradually,
and Three, people that nobody likes.

I think Ali and Old Veggie are prime example of people in category one. When I first knew both of them, I did warm up to them quite fast because they are outgoing and friendly and nice. But then the more I came to know them, the more I see their faults and I don't really like them no more. Sure, I do still see their good points but really, I won't tell them anything about myself. We are friends on a very superficial level, and that's it.

People like me and Lizzy are in category two. At first we seem all moody and unsociable (which is not true! We just happen to have moody default faces), but the more you got to know us, the more you'll see our good points and the more you'll warm up to us.

For the people in the third category... Well... You gotta do something about your character and attitude.

So the next time you see a new girl (sorry I can only speak for girls) being all alone and seemingly moody, do not dismiss her, because if you reach out your hand just a little bit, you might just see the unroughed diamond she actually is.

Of course, ultimately it all depends on your personal definition of "nice" and "good".

Okie see ya~

I Might Just Be A Masochist

You know sometimes when you know, you know for sure that choosing that option will cause you to do something wrong, or you know  that it ain't good for you, but you do it anyway? Yeah, well it's happening to me lately. A LOT.

Especially in terms of essay writing. I had my JC2 General Paper March Block Test today (kinda like CA, but they just like to sound fancier) and for some reason, I went and chose the damn question that I was unclear of the POC (point of contention) of. IDIOT!

As you can probably see, I CHOSE BLOODY QUESTION 3. I think I'm rebellious by nature. My first impression of the question was "oooh, I like this questions" and then "but I'm not sure about the POC." And then maybe, just maybe, the little rebellious "conscience" in the back of my brain went you know you want to... prove to them that you can do this.... And I got reeled in simple as that.

Normal science students would go for the more common and standard topics such as technology or youth (most of my friends did qns 7) and would AVOID AVOID AVOID abstract qns that is generally not taught. Me, I like abstract qns, but I can't writ them. Heck, my essays just suck, period.
The thing with GP essays is that you need real life examples to substantiate your claims or else your content marks will be wayyy low. I have a huge problem trying to memorise examples because my brain just isn't wired that way. I have a lot of trouble trying to memorise things word-for-word. I can't at all, which is why my Chemistry sucks too. )':

As I was writing the essay, I knew that I most likely got the POC wrong, but I just continued anyway. This isn't the first time something like this happened. The last time we wrote an essay I stupidly went and chose the question "People who die rich die disgraced" which was a quote. But since I didn't know who the quote was from, I didn't grasp the underlying POC of dying rich versus dying poor. That's what my teacher said.

It's kinda like eating candy when you're on a diet. You know that it's detrimental, but you do it anyway. Perhaps we are all masochistic in some ways... @_@

Oz The Great And Powerful

The movie is an attempt at a prequel for "The Wizard of Oz", as Disney tries to explain to us how the wizard, Oz, got to the land of Oz in the first place.
And if you don't know the story of "The Wizard of Oz" like my dear, dear classmates, you should just draw a circle on the table and bang your head. Literature, heck, even movies -classics -are lost in my generation. The sad truth.

Anyway, I'm not gonna give a summary of the movie, or analyse it. There are plenty of sites that do that.
I'm just gonna say that I found the movie mildly entertaining, sort of interesting, hated the ending, and didn't like its pace.

Some movies begin with slow steps that slowly crescendo to a big, epic climax. Those are awesome movies.

This movie on the other hand has about the same pace throughout the movie, like in the beginning I'm walking, at the middle I'm jogging, and at the end I'm resting. That's about it to me.

-Spoiler-
And I didn't like the main character. Granted, I don't think he's made to be a likable character, but I really pity Theodora, the wicked witch of the west.

There was innocent, naive Theodora (Mila Kunis) who got caught in Oz's charm (the guy is a smooth flirt) and falls in love with him on day 1. Evanora (Rachel Weisz), her sister, is the true wicked witch but she had managed to deceive Theodora that she is the good witch while Glinda (Michelle Williams) is the wicked one. Then Evanora manages to break Theodora's heart by having her believe Oz (James Franco) didn't love her (true) and had flirted with her (true) and was serious with her (false). So then the poor, heartbroken Theodora got tricked by her sister into eating an apple (surprise, surprise!) that causes her heart to wither away and leave nothing but evil.
And so Theodora, after taking one bite of the apple, becomes ugly and green and evil and swore revenge on Oz. She even has the witchy evil laughter thing and all.

At the end of the movie, the two evil witches were banished from the land of Oz, and Oz himself got whatever he ever wanted (greatness, power, money, Glinda, riches).
A fair ending? Heck no!

In the book "The Wizard Of Oz", the wicked witch of the east (Evanora) got squashed by Dorothy's house and died while the wicked witch of the west (Theodora) was melted by Dorothy and eventually died.
-End Of Spoiler-

So overall while I did, to a certain extent, like the movie, it's not one that I will watch in the cinemas if I had known the story beforehand.

The most entertaining parts wasn't even from the movie. My friend Izzy was sitting beside me in the cinema and every single time something evil just pops up in the screen she'd jump and my chair would jerk too which shocked me. It wasn't the movie that made me jump; it was Izzy. Then I'll laugh at her and she'd be all embarrassed and then it'll happen again. XD

I Like Documentaries

Just spent the whole day watching documentaries on YouTube such as My Strange Obsession or Extraordinary People.....

...all the while neglecting my mountain of homework and impending tests... Oh well. This happens every week anyway. XD

Had camp from Fri to Sat night so I really, completely have not touched my homework. Crapppp..

First time camping in school! Slept on the concrete floors, opened a gambling den, saw a few disembodied heads, heard a few screams... You know, the usual.

Just kidding. The drama had a scary-night themed orientation and there were quite elaborate props placed all over the school. At night.

They placed a newspaper corpse of a chinese man missing his head in the handicap bathroom and I can still hear the screams when my guitar girls walked by.... LOL.

Most of them are ridiculously terrified of the darkness. Is it odd that I actually really like it? No one wanted to go for a midnight walk with me on the school track... )':
I'm not that over-confident or ignorant to go alone. So no midnight stroll.

K bye I'm in the middle of a documentary. I'm actually quite fascinated by some of these things.

I Like Red Hues

I just realised it lol.

Was browsing through wallpapers to download and I realise that all of my all-time favourites were
1) artificial
2) red-hued.

And then I realised that I didn't have a single favourite blue-hued wallpaper.
Maybe because red-hues give off a feeling of warmth while blue-hues feel cold and lifeless and, might I say, fake?

Blue wallpapers, unless they're unphotoshopped photographs, feel very fake to me. :/
Hmmm. To each his own I guess.

Some of my favourite phone wallpapers <3

What Do You Worship?

A little background:
I am an Anglican Christian and my Dad is one of the reverends in the church. Our church is located within the hospital. He is in charge of the hospital sector and he usually goes to the Chinese congregation. So basically, if there are any emergencies, he's the guy that people turn to for help. But yesterday, he was invited to speak at another church and so he didn't attend our church's service. We only had one Pastor in the service yesterday so he was in charge of everything.
So, on to the story.

Yesterday when the Sunday service was ending, this man who had some kind of mental illness had another relapse. It was around the time we were getting ready to give our offerings. This guy has had many relapses, so it didn't really shock anyone.
The difference yesterday was that my Dad was not there. So the other people there, the Pastor, the admin, the band, the people... they all didn't know how to handle it because my Dad wasn't there. Usually Dad would princess-carry the guy to seek medical help and someone else would lead the rest of us to pray for the guy (or anyone else... we invite some of the patients to our service so the risk is always there).
But since my Dad wasn't there... Well two or three people hurriedly carried him onto a wheelchair and pushed him out of the congregation and tried to stabilise him outside.

And what did the Pastor do? NOTHING. Did he lead us in prayer for the guy? No. Did he express his concern for the guy? NO!

I could see that while some of the people were concerned, most of them didn't give a damn. They didn't even look at that guy. The service went on, money was handled, songs were sung, all while the dude may be fighting for his life outside.

I got so pissed. SO FREAKING PISSED. I wanted to scream to the lot of them, "WHAT ARE YOU WORSHIPING?"
What is your faith? Is your faith to be faithful and focus solely on the rituals to God? Do you not care if someone is in need because you are absorbed in your ritual?
Is the ritual more important or your neighbour more important?

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these."
-Mark 12:30

So, what is your faith? You come to church every week, you offer up your 10%  dutifully, you read the bible, you pray frequently... But what is your faith? Is there any believe while you go through the rituals? Is there kindness, love, hope, joy, peace...?

Honestly, it made me very, very disappointed with my church. My Dad and I yelled at each other over this because he kept trying to defend the church saying they were too reliant on him and so they didn't know what to do, that it's only natural for this kind of indifference because the guy has had multiple relapses. And he kept emphasising that I am overly judgement, and he just was damned stubborn and wouldn't even try to consider what I was trying to tell him, this huge problem that I was trying to bring to light so that he, having a position of power, could do something about it.

It may be true. I am quick to judge, but most of the time I am right. Has he ever considered that maybe I'm just more sensitive to emotions and actions of others? That perhaps I judge quickly because I observe enough to judge in that short period of time?

We all judge others. As beings with emotions this is inevitable. Maybe I'm just more sensitive and form my judgements quicker. Has he ever thought of that? Has he realised that by repeatedly pointing out my judgemental issues, he himself has already condemned me?

It hurt. I felt sad, disappointed, oppressed, misunderstood..... and I cried. For 10 minutes I locked myself in my room, turned off all lights, stood by the window and cried.

Did he even think to apologise? Heck, no. In my Dad's mind, he is perfect. Even if he made a mistake, it's because someone else lead him to do it so essentially it's not his fault.
This is a trait that my brother has inherited as well and it's tearing my family apart. Me, I stopped caring about my brother a long time ago to be frank. He is not, and never will be, my responsibility. I tried -we tried- but to no avail.

Wow this is long. Well, happy belated Valentines' my readers (I know I have a couple from different countries, which is so cool).
MWUAHHH. <3 p="">